To Seeing the Invisible

The first gay couple in New York City to get married. Man, what a lovely picture, and what awesome news. These two people, their entire lives the world has misunderstood them. Countless times--I'm sure of it--they've been told hurtful things about their preferences. Imagine dealing with this your entire life, confused not knowing how to express your true self without the discomfort of others, whether someone will accept you for who you are, because you are "different". They must live in a very dark, dark place with very few companions to relate. Well today, this place got a little bit lighter. After 23 years of fighting for this, after 23 years of world denying these two lifelong companions a written measure of happiness, NY has carved it's way into history as one of the first states to legalize same-sex marriage. At the expense of what? Absolutely nothing. It's amazing that it offends the sensibilities of certain groups that these gay couples should...

I scare myself sometimes. i want to make a dent in this world, so bad. I want to do something big, something that puts us all in the right track. I'm not just saying this--as in, these thoughts have crossed my mind almost every day for the past two years. Tonight, I can't sleep because of this. What would I do if I had complete control over the US Educational system? How could one create of culture insistant on efficiency, eliminating the sin of sloth. Homelessness? Is there any way to reduce sleep? My mind is racing. Good ambition. I know. But where do I begin? I have absolutely no idea. Two full years thinking about this, all ideas lead to one conclusion: I need money. Lot's of it. You have no idea how much this sickens me; materialism at its finest. It also brings to light the perceived limits of my creative capacity which I wish to deny. If I get an idea, would I even act? I scare myself sometimes. But still... ...how do I change the world?

I wonder how it feels to be considered one of the worst presidents in America. Or to be responsible for this country breaking down under its legs. What do you think George W. Bush? #Debt

"Oh, you're too young. You'll understand and change your mind, someday." Fuck you. Don't you ever scoff at anyones idea to better the world, however "impossible" they are. You are the very impediment to collective progress, crushing ideas in their infancy. I hope you've never said that to anyone else. When elephants are young, breeders bind them with incredibly strong chains. The animal cannot escape or move much at all. It quickly learns that the chains cannot be broken, and gives up trying. From that point on, the owner ties a simple rope around the elephant's neck to guide it around. With its sheer size and primal power, the elephant has the ability to overpower at any time , however it's been convinced it cannot. So it won't. This is exactly what you are doing. You are rationalizing your own inability to change the world as a universal law instead of a recognizing personal failure. #shackles

SCORREE!! I just got my first pay check today. Ohh man, this is such a beautiful thing, it really puts a smile on my face. Working 48 hours a week is finally paying off, and it's nice to know that I'm relying less and less on my parents. Honestly, they have done so much for me, it's insane. One day, just one day.. I'll give back for everything they have done. I seriously cannot express how much gratitude I have for them; the gift of curiosity, which I so dearly hold, is so valuable to me, I just can't imagine... IBM is challenging. First of all, I was naive for me to think that C++ wouldn't be much of a problem after one semester. There is so much complexity to that language--and elegance--it's pretty mind boggling. Sometimes it's frustrating, I have hit every novice programmers mistake known to man so far. But at the same time, that's a good thing. These are necessary road blocks I need to encounter for me to truly be a competent software...

Long time no talk Rachel, happy 4th of July. I want to share something interesting for you today. Someone had left this note on a table while I was walking to work the other day. Interestingly, it mentions someone with the same name as you. It's kinda long, but this person must have really spent some time thinking about this. I'll share: ~~ It's a curious pill. Lucid green with little tiny pebbles inside. I've never seen anything like it. I've done my research. After pages and pages of Wikipedia, Erowid, and scientific journals, I feel confident I want to try this out. No qualms, pure experience, ecstasy . After hours of anticipation and a little disappointment about the rave, it finally hit me on the taxi ride back. Hard. Just imagine you step into a cube of water. You have a sense of weightlessness, a little disoriented, but at the same time a strong sense of lucidity of the world around. You feel the gentle current in every inch of your skin wafting t...