To Seeing the Invisible

Rachel, this doesn't have much to do with you today. Gonna try something new--see if I like it. Alright bitches, here's a history lesson--so listen up. A long, long time ago there was something called the Silk Road. For almost a thousand years a network of trade routes spanned China to the east, Central Asia, Northern India, and to the very west, the Roman Empire in Europe. A little factoid: this is how Buddhism spread from India to China. POP QUIZ: who made the most bank out of this Silk Road? What is it you say? China--after all the Silk Road is named after Chinese Silk right? NOPE. The Silk Road didn't do shit compared to the other things that were happening in China then. It was actually them Middle Easterners and them Indians that made it all rain. These two groups were in the middle of everything, and all traders had to go through their territory. Let's concentrate on the Middle East for the rest of this post, cuz this is the starting point for the shi...

Rachel, I've never read such a nerdy book in a single day. So brilliantly written, I am still at awe.. Almost a half-century after its completion, the 200-inch Palomar telescope remains an unparalleled combination of vast scale and microscopic detail. As huge as the Pantheon of Rome and as heavy as the Statue of Liberty, this magnificent instrument is so precisely built that its seventeen-foot mirror was hand-polished to a tolerance of 2/1,000,000 of an inch. The telescope's construction drove some of the brink of madness, made others fearful that mortals might glimpse heaven, and transfixed an entire nation. #obsession

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In case you were wondering Rachel, it costs around $1300 ~ $2400 for your ship to pass the Panama Canal. Not too bad for a fee that saves you 8,000 miles of naval time right? And yeah, I know you're itching to know--The highest ever Canal toll was $141,344.91, charged to a cruise ship called the Crown Princess, and the lowest toll ever paid was 36 cents by Richard Halliburton, who swam the Canal in 1928. God I love the internet. Honestly, Knowledge is exponential. It's sad that such a small proportion of our planet is lucky enough to learn everything they wish to learn.

How Doctors Die Very, very interesting perspective. Doctors must continue to educate patients about the risks vs benefits of treatment. All too often, family members will inadvertently act in their own self interest by wishing extension of life for their terminal loved one. Occasionally consultants will act in an aim to “help” the terminal patient until the patient comes to grips with the inevitable outcome. I think this rings very true. As as society, we focus on length of life, not quality of life, and therefore we should reevaluate our approach.

Sure, most people will remember him for the products his company put out, the same way people remember Edison for his perfection of early light bulbs. Harder to measure is his most important contribution to society: Taking innovation to heights previously unimagined. He sets the example of what a visionary should be. This matters, because visions matter . Visions give people a direction and inspire people to act, and a group of inspired people is the most powerful force in the world .

You signed an offer at Zynga? Props to you man. With the company recently filing for a $1B IPO , you're going to make some serious money. But to be honest, I wish you didn't.. You are one of the smartest programmers I know, why would you sign your soul away to them? You know all too well there's a strong bully/prison experiment vibe to those companies. You get used to abusing people because all your friends are hi-fiving you about being good at abusing people. The High Holy developers sit around thinking up ways of manipulating people into addiction. The developers and management get positive social reinforcement from co-workers and the board when they find another hook into people's brains--"Your character will DIE unless you come back RIGHT NOW!" or "You haven't visited in 18 hours, VISIT NOW FOR FREE GIFT!". Reinforcing shady practices of individuals (It's not unethical, it's funethical!) over time makes developers and management...

You : Are you going to be nice to me today? Hangover : You mean like you were nice to me last night? Thanks for all the sake bombs, and I lovved that final shot of 151, you jerk. I have feelings too you know! You : My bad, really. I wasn't planning to, we were all having a good time, and..things got out of hand... Hangover : I'm so tired of your excuses. To teach you a lesson, I'm going to be a pain in the ass today. You : Are you serious? Please don't. I have so much shit to do today.. Hangover : You should have thought about that last night before you let Lewis ICE you three times. I don't mean to be a dick or anything, but the only way you'll learn is if I ruin your life today. You : Ugh, fine. Let’s just go get something to eat. I’m starving. Can you please fix yourself though? You look like a garbage can. I can’t bring you in public looking like that. Hangover : I’m a freaking hangover, for god’s sake. It’s my job to bring shame and loo...

Nature reminds us that each and every one of us has beaten incredible odds to win the cosmic lottery that is existence. It reminds us that beauty quiets our egos and connects us instead of creating separation. It's so nice to be given just a moment to step out of our daily struggles that we may appreciate just how absurdly lucky we are.

Clinic today was absolutely heartbreaking. I was called outside to talk to a client, someone I was unable to thoroughly help earlier that day. She had recently found out that she had a tumor in her chest, and my lack of resources was the straw that broke the camel's back. Rachel...to witness such a bleak, stress-pounding world she lives in, is something that bothers me still... The compounding uncertainty and fear that brought about this nervous breakdown...fuck...I don't even know what to say... To all the doctors out there, cure cancer. I don't know how, but please..just do it.

Next time, I will prove myself. But today, today I've failed, and I have to swallow this ugly idea, along with my pride, as I accept the disappointed pats on the shoulder. I hope you learned from this Rachel. This is not happening again. fuckin' embarrassing.

Lt. John Pike has now become the occupy movement's face of evil. Students and faculty justifiably expressed outrage when they witnessed this man nonchalantly pepper-spraying peaceful protestors. This is pretty fucked up, it makes you wonder what kind of person would do such a thing? But let's not forget, since the Free Speech Movement in the 1960s, since the WTO protests in the 1990's, and since the Miami protests in the 2000's, our police forces have enshrined a paradigm of protest policing that turns local cops into paramilitary forces. Let's not pretend that Pike is an independent bad actor. Too many incidents around the country attest to the widespread deployment of these tactics. If we vilify Pike, we let these institutions off way too easy. It's a dozen scared kids and a police officer named John Pike spraying them in the face from three feet away. And while it's his finger pulling the trigger, the police system is what put him in the position to be...

First you have to figure out who you are. Then you have to accept who you are. Then you have to be who you are. These challenges come in increasing levels of difficulty, and you can fall backwards at any time. Now ask yourself. What the fuck do you want to do with Suitcase?

Some of the greatest pleasures of my life came as a result of a discretionary purchase. Incredible people, experiences, even a business opportunity came my way because I bought a product, went to an event, or took a trip that most frugal people I know wouldn't have. Once you decide to be frugal, you'll probably be stuck that way for life because you'll rarely be in position to take advantage of those opportunities that would break the cycle. If that works for you, that's totally fine. But not for me. I may not be extravagant, but I don't want to miss any life-time opportunities because I was too worried about my bank balance. In the grand scheme of things, how sad that would be?

There are so many logical reasons why one should support space exploration, and justify the expense. But these reasons are not why I support space exploration. I support space exploration because it's just fascinating . I’m not yet a computer scientist, so I don’t get to call myself a scientist according to many. But I share with them an inherent need to understand the world around me, and to see with my eyes the structures underpinning our existence. There's a kind of awe I get when I read a beautiful algorithm that I also get when I understand what the CMBR is, and how it got there. And even if I didn't understand any of the science, there's a different kind of awe, a more primal and fundamental numinous, that comes from seeing a picture of the surface of Titan sent back by Huygens, or cloud tops of Jupiter seen from just above their surface. A kind of awe I would gladly pay a few dollars for - which, as one of 300 million Americans, is precisely what it costs me...

"Clair de Lune"...moonlight. Sometimes I imagine that when Debussy penned this movement, he hesitated with the title. Perhaps he didn't have the courage to add that extra "E" to the end of her name, immortalizing her in music. "Claire of the Moon"...like a flower that opens for moonlight alone, imbued in these gentle chords is his honesty. Just a thought...

I'm not too sure if I agree with the Berkeley Republicans Bake Sale , but they do bring up a good point about Affirmative Action. This really does need to be addressed. AA is wrong . Once you throw in affirmative action, you can no longer objectively view an accomplishment for any person of a minority group. It plants the seed in peoples minds that the person is where they are only because of affirmative action and not the person's own merits. As such, affirmative action does a disservice to everyone. Each student you let in because of race creates one student you denied because of race. I don't care how small that margin is, it is immoral and illegal. This is 2011, race has no place in university admissions.

"Dude, we're golden. Meet at 2pm my place. Pregame or whatnot before. btw, the bus is full of chicks who may or may not be lesbian. #win" AHAHA YES!

it really does a disservice to all those medical doctors who worked their asses of to earn their qualifications to examine patients, when they are trapped working for a horribly understaffed hospital bogged down by GPO premiums and illogical paperwork/ protocol in hopes to prevent litigation. How is a doctor supposed to give quality care and satisfy a patient who has been waiting 4 hours when the doctors only has 10min tops to spare? I'm tired of this bullshit, I've missed two classes already. I originally came in to sign up for a physical therapy appointment only to find out that I need a referral from a doctor to make an appointment. I try to make a doctors appointment, only to find out that no appointments are made for injuries within the past 7 days. I then go to urgent care to ask for some advice, (if they actually see me it's $30). I then wait a full hour for this "advice" in which they tell me I should get an Xray. "You've waited this long...

The following has been in my mind lately, it was inspired by a book I've been reading recently ( Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond - you should check it out!) In my body right now, biochemical reactions we call "life" are occuring. It's cool that they've been going on my whole life, my heart has done well over 750 million beats at this point. Pretty awesome. My life processes date back longer than that. Consider that for 3.8 billion years, a period of time older than the Earth's mountains and rivers and oceans, every one of our ancestors on both sides has been attractive enough to find a mate, healthy enough to reproduce, and sufficiently blessed by fate and circumstances to live long enough to do so. Not one of our pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life's quest of delivering that tiny permuation of A, T, C, and G to the right partner at the...

"Lots of people like me, because unlike most internet-dwellers I am a clever and intelligent human being. Interesting to talk to, with a sharp wit that charms my friends and friends to be, while at the same time it cuts rivals down like wheat. Wheat to be harvested, baked into bread, and given to the homeless out of pity or maybe a misplaced sense of pride. I am what most others aspire to be. What pathetic wiry men stuck in their college years refer to as an “alpha,” though I’d never be so crass as to call myself that. In short, I am not just loved unconditionally. I am a man who has earned the right to be loved unconditionally. Hahaha jk people think I’m alright I guess." Wow. I wish I could write like that. I wonder what others think of me. I guess that's something on everyone's mind heh. But still, I'd like to know..

The first gay couple in New York City to get married. Man, what a lovely picture, and what awesome news. These two people, their entire lives the world has misunderstood them. Countless times--I'm sure of it--they've been told hurtful things about their preferences. Imagine dealing with this your entire life, confused not knowing how to express your true self without the discomfort of others, whether someone will accept you for who you are, because you are "different". They must live in a very dark, dark place with very few companions to relate. Well today, this place got a little bit lighter. After 23 years of fighting for this, after 23 years of world denying these two lifelong companions a written measure of happiness, NY has carved it's way into history as one of the first states to legalize same-sex marriage. At the expense of what? Absolutely nothing. It's amazing that it offends the sensibilities of certain groups that these gay couples should...

I scare myself sometimes. i want to make a dent in this world, so bad. I want to do something big, something that puts us all in the right track. I'm not just saying this--as in, these thoughts have crossed my mind almost every day for the past two years. Tonight, I can't sleep because of this. What would I do if I had complete control over the US Educational system? How could one create of culture insistant on efficiency, eliminating the sin of sloth. Homelessness? Is there any way to reduce sleep? My mind is racing. Good ambition. I know. But where do I begin? I have absolutely no idea. Two full years thinking about this, all ideas lead to one conclusion: I need money. Lot's of it. You have no idea how much this sickens me; materialism at its finest. It also brings to light the perceived limits of my creative capacity which I wish to deny. If I get an idea, would I even act? I scare myself sometimes. But still... ...how do I change the world?

I wonder how it feels to be considered one of the worst presidents in America. Or to be responsible for this country breaking down under its legs. What do you think George W. Bush? #Debt

"Oh, you're too young. You'll understand and change your mind, someday." Fuck you. Don't you ever scoff at anyones idea to better the world, however "impossible" they are. You are the very impediment to collective progress, crushing ideas in their infancy. I hope you've never said that to anyone else. When elephants are young, breeders bind them with incredibly strong chains. The animal cannot escape or move much at all. It quickly learns that the chains cannot be broken, and gives up trying. From that point on, the owner ties a simple rope around the elephant's neck to guide it around. With its sheer size and primal power, the elephant has the ability to overpower at any time , however it's been convinced it cannot. So it won't. This is exactly what you are doing. You are rationalizing your own inability to change the world as a universal law instead of a recognizing personal failure. #shackles

SCORREE!! I just got my first pay check today. Ohh man, this is such a beautiful thing, it really puts a smile on my face. Working 48 hours a week is finally paying off, and it's nice to know that I'm relying less and less on my parents. Honestly, they have done so much for me, it's insane. One day, just one day.. I'll give back for everything they have done. I seriously cannot express how much gratitude I have for them; the gift of curiosity, which I so dearly hold, is so valuable to me, I just can't imagine... IBM is challenging. First of all, I was naive for me to think that C++ wouldn't be much of a problem after one semester. There is so much complexity to that language--and elegance--it's pretty mind boggling. Sometimes it's frustrating, I have hit every novice programmers mistake known to man so far. But at the same time, that's a good thing. These are necessary road blocks I need to encounter for me to truly be a competent software...

Long time no talk Rachel, happy 4th of July. I want to share something interesting for you today. Someone had left this note on a table while I was walking to work the other day. Interestingly, it mentions someone with the same name as you. It's kinda long, but this person must have really spent some time thinking about this. I'll share: ~~ It's a curious pill. Lucid green with little tiny pebbles inside. I've never seen anything like it. I've done my research. After pages and pages of Wikipedia, Erowid, and scientific journals, I feel confident I want to try this out. No qualms, pure experience, ecstasy . After hours of anticipation and a little disappointment about the rave, it finally hit me on the taxi ride back. Hard. Just imagine you step into a cube of water. You have a sense of weightlessness, a little disoriented, but at the same time a strong sense of lucidity of the world around. You feel the gentle current in every inch of your skin wafting t...

Damn...it's been one and half years already.. You still remember that promise we made? One day, we'll legally take shots together? I'm still gonna hold you on that, six more months haha, take care.

These past several days have been absolutely brilliant. I have had amazing experiences, I'm comfortable with my accomplishments, I am in love with all my friends, and I'm simply proud of myself. Could this week be better? I really doubt that, but you better believe I'm going to try! #BringIt

Rachel, I have no idea if this a phase or something, but the more I invest into politics, I keep leaning left. Honestly, the republican platform and FOX are just so..oppressive and backwards its seriously disturbing me. In no way do I mean to make this blog political, but I just have to say stuff right now. I'm gonna try to be as rational as I can..here goes my rant: ~~ Okay, many families including the one I am in right now, pay to live, to eat, for an education, car payments, phone bills, gas, electricity and many other services that don't CREATE jobs like the GOP love to regurgitate--but they MAINTAIN jobs because we as a consumer supply the demand. I don't get it, why should my health be considered a commodity to be profited from? And you love to recite "scary" words like socialism, communism, and other "-isms" to describe people who want their government to help them. You scream about national debt when you guys want to go wage wars to expand...

So far so good with that resolution! Drove up to the great mall today to see Ed, Cindy, Shruthi, Swathi, and Shivani. It's good to see them, I haven't hung out with them in a very long time. Later, had dinner with the newly weds over some Russian dinner. They made these Cherry potstickers that were astronomnomnomically delicious. Anyways, I am so excited for this summer. I am in a freaking apartment this time, I have two internships, and I have pretty legit mini projects on the side. I will read every single article listed on The Atlantic's fantastic pieces of journalism and construct my own EyeWriter based on this TED talk . Maybe I can bring it to Suitcase once I finish; Youth Clinic might appreciate something like this.

650,000 Six hundred and fifty thousand. This is the number of hours a human being is expected to live in a developed world, if he's lucky. Just look at that number again--those six, plain, numbers. Am I the only one that's surprised to see such a concise numerical representation of my expected lifespan? It saddens me to know, there's only six digits on that thing...A Google search tells me that Barnes & Noble sells more of that shitty Nook reader in a day than this number. I've already lived at least 175,000 of it, and it sickens me to even think of putting into perspective how many of that 650k is sleep. I don't mean to bring it up as some kinda personal death clock, or reminder of doom or something--especially for you Rachel--but I think it's a good idea to start changing things. I've come up with a few: Stay friends. An hour with a friend is definitely not an hour. I don't want any regrets. Weasel your way through to find that one positi...

How I ironic, life just gave me too many lemons at once--the very same lemons I've been so desperate to have a month ago--I don't know which to choose. I guess I should be thankful, but I'm having a really hard time here..A tiny but juicy fruit, a fat but not as juicy fruit, or a medium sized kinda juicy fruit. asdfhakjhfa #vague

Well shit, I just got home and my dad and his friends were still drinking. I reluctantly joined in...I have a fucking interview tomorrow, in Oakland. WTF am I doing? Fuck it, I've already done a drunk post before, here goes nothing: I just shared a very special night with a few of my closest friends. I am truly, truly blessed. I've come to realize I cannot be thankful enough for all these remarkable moments few people have to opportunity to experience. To sit down with a group of friends, and to relive Chris Botti's greatest personal performance over a glass of Napa Valley wine, let alone to do that through one of the most technologically sound mediums? An HDTV that lets us see the beady sweat on the drummer's forehead in the backdrop of any scene, a BluRay sound that lets us hear the raw timbre of the yamaha piano. We sat there that in Boston venue tonight. We just experienced Chris Botti's liquid-gold of a tone melt our very souls to jello. This is mate...

I have to admit, this blog has come to be a pretty nice stress reliever. I had a lot of fun writing that last post, maybe it's due to the high-stakes finals week or a spur-of-the-moment splurge. Either way I hope you like it. To be honest, I never though I would EVER find myself writing short stories like this. But it all started from a deviant art piece called Best Friends Forever . I absolutely fell in love with this; I love these retro, vector-style artworks. Its simplicity, and its matter-of-fact genuineness really caught my attention. Right then and there, I stopped everything and started typing. It was exciting, I wanted a way to capture that heartfelt, sentiment of a child. My answer was a short story. It's really these types of moments--moments you're in a flurry to write your thoughts down--that have the potential to define people's lives; such a magical feeling. I just can't help but think, this world could possibly be explained by a succession o...

A monster lives under my bed. He is a big glob of magma with fiery red eyes and a stature second to only to Big Foot. Sometimes we play scrabble. The first time he was only the tick of the clock, the creak of the wooden floors, the hymn of the fan, and the buzz of the wind. It's only the wind, it's only the wind, I breathed. He would then breathe back, with that deep, grumble-voice of his: AM NOT! He always spoke in capitals; MONSTERS ARE TOO SCARY FOR LOWERCASE LETTERS he informed me one day, sputtering through those nonexistent teeth. He would bother me with questions all night. WHY DO YOU NOT SCREAM? You're just annoying! SCRABBLE? I'm tired! But worst of all, he would ask questions I can't answer back. He'd ask me WHY, WHY, WHY... . And my eyelids would stick to cheekbones in desparte hope to sleep. I would stack more pillows over my ears, turn up my Walkman, and crawl further inside my covers. None of that helped. He sometimes enters my dreams. The...

Desperately neeed nutrition. I can feel my muscles and fats tearing apart. Forced myself Soup Company yesterday, it felt like I ate 2 Chipotle burritos, then I proceeded to throw it all up. This has just been an abysmal week. I might need to go to the doctor again..

You're damn right about "enduring the shit hole of a situation" posted a couple days ago. Because shit is really hitting the fan: I think I have the stomach flu. Yeah, Rachel, you know exactly what that means. It's either that or food poisoning. But case in point, jetlag is not the only thing that's keeping me up. Ughh this fever wont recede, I am dead tired, and everything I eat or drink goes straight through in like 10min, please let this enddd! I seem to be having the worst of luck every semester during finals week. I never thought I would ever be in a situation almost comparable to what happened last semester dead week. Never mind, it's not even close. Either way, life sucks and it needs to get better. Now. And I swear though whatever bullshit bacteria that's shitting with me, you're a feisty one. Get the fuck out.

Of all the weapons in your arsenal, silence is your sharpest sword

I'm really feeling the heat now, leaving only 4 days to study for two consecutive finals may not have been a very prudent idea. Of course, jetlag and anoncon comes in to ruin the week, exponentially raising my procrastination levels--things aren't looking too good. Grades will definitely take a hit this semester, but to be honest--and Rachel I hope you agree with me here--flying over to see the wedding was well worth enduring the shit hole of a situation I am in right now. With so many experiences, so many new friends, network opportunities with Google employees (the smartest people I have ever met!), there is not a single ounce of regret in me right now. Ohh man, I want to post so bad right now, but ill resist; I honestly do not have the time right now. As you can see, I'm posting this in lieu of doing anything productive towards my finals. Oh the irony.

I am seriously not going to sleep tonight, but it's okay, I have an all-expenses-paid trip to Europe waiting ahead of me. I AM SO STOKKED! An EPIC wedding (literally--the Maltese Islands were one of Odysseus's refuge after the fall of Troy) in one of the oldest standing churches in the wold, two tours including a cruise around the Island, then we fly to France for some Parisan receptions. We spend three days there with a paid tour..and then there's another reception in ROME!! How BALLER is that? Unfortunately, I won't be able to visit Italy due to my finals schedule-- my deteriorating academic integrity did outlast in making this decision. Pssh

All truth is one. In this Light, may Science and Religion endeavor together for the steady evolution of Mankind: From Darkness to Light, From Narrowness to Broadmindedness, From Prejudice to Tolerance, It is the voice that calls us, To come and learn. -Anonymous Quote etched at the top of the University of Buffalo clock tower. さすがに心に残る格言だな．．．比べようもなく感動してしまった。

Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven popped up on shuffle today. I have to agree, this is one of the greatest songs ever made. Ironic though, to see that affinity humans have toward such dark emotions, even if they are reminders of a painful past. We all have our own stories that go with these emotions, yet our society reveres manifestations of such sad stories like that of Clapton's. It's as if we constantly need to be reminded of precisely the things we wish to avoid.

These feelings usually never get me, but damn...seeing PDA in Soda hall was like a stab in the heart. Here I was on a Friday afternoon, heading towards office hours, recently refused to go to Davis with my friends so I can "study". I guess the haven of antisocial-ness that I believed to be Soda Hall is now false sentiment... But one thing is for sure, I know my code will always love me :)

I know, I know, holding back your tears while a watching a freaking YouTube video is a sign of weakness. Rachel, I hope you can forgive me, but not only did this video move me to tears, I fucking destroyed the replay button. 4 reasons: 1. It's Pixar. 2. Great choice of music. I am absolutely IN LOVE with Sigur Ros and John Murphy . (John Murphy's Kaneda's Death is from the Sunshine Soundtrack). I was simply audiofondled by my headphones for the entire 5 minutes and 25 seconds. 3. Whoever made this video did an amazing job editing. Splicing clips and meaningful sound quotes from 20+ sources is a pretty daunting task. Cool. But to do that in a motivational video that parallels the initiating incident, rising action, and the climax of any story? Brilliant. 4. It's fucking Pixar! Wow, this montage really reminds you how really impressive and consistently fantastic their films have been. Honestly, you'd be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn't like at...

In celebration of their 40th anniversary, Starbucks rolled out with a new logo. Personally, I think the designers working for Starbucks did a pretty good job here. Simplicity and elegance comes to mind. Removing the words from the mark, bringing in the green to the table, and taking the Siren out of her ring. For forty years she’s represented coffee, and now she's that star. Seriously, I think they've come a far ways. Their old design is pretty hideous--they definitely took the mythical eroticism of sirens wayy too seriously; it looks a like a pregnant lady in spread-eagle position. She doesn't look very happy, all too suggesting the possibility that she is a victim of rape. Thankfully, that's in the past. She's grown to be a much more attractive and now finally, our new evolution liberates this siren from her outer ring, making her the true, welcoming face of Starbucks. Also, coffee is pretty fascinating thing you should check this out . This is currentl...

Poetry has never really been an interest of mine, but this particular poem caught my attention. Embarrassingly, I probably would have never read it if it was not a Grey Goose advertisement . Nonetheless, I think this poem really captures a way of life I'd like to experience: A Toast To Eureka! To A Fundamental Shift To Asking What If? To Finding Out Why To So Crazy It Might Work To The Guts To Try To Seeing The Invisible To Attempting The Impossible To Finding Obstacles Inspirational To Outside The Box To Outside The Lines To Taking Small Steps To Being Ahead Of Our Time To Celebrating The Visionaries Who Move Us All Forward You may have noticed an underlying theme to this blog. This poem is the inspiration, and I wish to write this blog as an extension of this poem. These lines are a manifestation of a person who cherishes the idea of curiosity, holds the courage and patience to take risks, is humble in all regards, acts for the betterment of others, but above all else, these ...

As I mentioned before, this blog is written for my future self. For future convenience, I think it is a good idea to alias this phrase. From here on out, this blog is dedicated to Rachel. Why a girls name? I have no fucking idea. I can tell you 'Rachel' is a very sexy name though. Please excuse me, I am drunk. EDIT: I am pretty surprised I actually had the energy to actually post this that night (without any typos!). And now that I think about it, I like this proposal. From now on, I'm writing to you Rachel. Now all my posts will sound like love letters bahaha

Exactly a year ago from this date, a friend of mine showed me a very awesome idea. The idea consisted a taking a picture at 8:36pm every single day for an entire year. It's a restrictive project compared to the conventional "picture a day" project, in the sense that I don't get to choose what picture to take. This will not only serve a way to remember the year, but this could possibly help me understand what's truly important in my life. People will often say that their whole lives flashed before their eyes after they experienced a traumatic event. This sounds a bit morbid, but this idea really captured me. All these thoughts crossed my mind as I walked home from their place. Without thinking, I took my phone out to call another friend for some KingPin, and what do you know, it was 8:34pm. And thus it began. So now that I'm done, what's truly important , you ask? Well if you look at the album, my computer is what's truly important. This MacB...

Trance is such a beautiful genre. These past three months, I feel like I've discovered a large part of myself. I know that in so many levels this is a ridiculously naive notion, but I'm thoroughly convinced this is true. In a sense, how a precise frequency of sound can excite a wine glass, trance simply resonates with me. It's a fascinating thing, I can't pinpoint it--something about trance, it sends me out to places. It's like Kurosaki Ichigo finally attaining bankai or something...I feel that no other type of music can express so much emotion without any lyrics. I frequently find myself choosing trance over all other types of music I would normally listen to. These are pretty bold statements; I sound like an emotional preteen girl right now, but bear with me here. The interesting thing is, when I'm listening to this genre, I attribute only positive words. Words like 'appreciation' or 'respect' instantly spring into mind. It's not lik...

This is to that awkward moment when you buy tons of junk food from a store, and you get the feeling that the cashier is judging you. I really want to say that I dont give a crap about what you think, but obviously I do. Hey asshole, for all you know, I could be buying them for my friends, and 3 bags of Reeses Cups and a case of butter cookies is not an uncommon thing.

This might be a pretty controversial opinion, but it's something I've been thinking about for a while now, and I think It will help me flesh out my thoughts if I express it in words--however incoherent they are. In our society, there is a positive correlation of success and likability in men, but a negative correlation in women. I can think of specific person where this is true. She is a very career-oriented and I know her ambition will definitely lead her to success. But frankly, I can see how many of her peers are intimidated, or sometimes even detracted by her. Had this person been a guy, that detraction would have been reverence. As a female becomes more successful, men deem them less and less approachable, but this trend is black-and-white opposite with men; socially, society views successful men as a positive thing. And I think that sucks . Not only is this cultural stigma completely disempowering but, taking account creative and logical process in the brain dif...

Since it's still the third post, maybe it's a good idea to talk about what this blog is/will-be about. Why did I start? It was first to familiarize myself with basic HTML. It actually took many many hours to get this blog up from scratch. You can probably tell from the broken links, that I still have a lot of work to do. But that soon changed... A friend from high school once told me, thoughts are too telling and too valuable to simply forget away. That's why she keeps a diary entry, each day, methodically recording all of her musings in a physical journal. It's not simply because I agree with her, but the notion of keeping record also really resonates with me. I can't really explain why--I've never really thought of that actually--but it's something I like do. Just for shits n' giggles, I guess I'll share some of the things I've been doing: a log of every single movie I have seen for the past 4 years a log of every single key/mouse click...

Recently, I've been exposed to a lot of material questioning the limits of the human society. Walking home under an absolutely beautiful night sky, combined with a pensive state-of-mind, it really got me thinking. I guess I'll send off my first post with an anecdote: With so much stillness and silence about the night, it was easy to spot the silhouettes of three men and their long instruments... for they were the only things that moved within miles of this remote area. Each of them sat in fold-up chairs with their coffee mugs in one hand, frequently peering into the eyepieces of their telescopes pointed straight up into the heart of the Fremont sky. They had come on a perfect night; the stars knew they were being watched; each molecule of a star battled one another fiercely to be recognized, even for a fraction of a second, by the three men. With their precision instruments to gather distant light, the astronomers had hiked all the way up to this clearing just to have a sight o...

Today, I overheard a conversation at the FSM that I thought I should share. This guy was complaining to his friend of the communication problems he and his roommate had. "Dumb roommate can't speak English for shit…even if his life depended on it," he said. His friend immediately replied, "what is his name? Ching Chu Chong?" "It might as well be haha." Of course, they laugh it off as if it's no big deal. The ironic thing is, here I am, listening to a conversation of two guys nonchalantly making huuuge negative generalizations about Asians at the FSM. Do they not realize that all tables adjacent to them were groups of Asians? I honestly cannot write a movie script to make it this bad. Your car is Japanese. Your pizza is Italian. Your potato is German. Your coffee is Brazilian. Your democracy is Greek. Your tea is Tamil. Your fashion is French. Your shirt is Indian. Your shoes are Thai. Your watch is Swiss. Your electronics are Chinese...