To a Love/Hate Relationship

You:
Are you going to be nice to me today?

Hangover:
You mean like you were nice to me last night? Thanks for all the sake bombs, and I lovved that final shot of 151, you jerk. I have feelings too you know!

You:
My bad, really. I wasn't planning to, we were all having a good time, and..things got out of hand...

Hangover:
I'm so tired of your excuses. To teach you a lesson, I'm going to be a pain in the ass today.

You:
Are you serious? Please don't. I have so much shit to do today..

Hangover:
You should have thought about that last night before you let Lewis ICE you three times. I don't mean to be a dick or anything, but the only way you'll learn is if I ruin your life today.

You:
Ugh, fine. Let’s just go get something to eat. I’m starving. Can you please fix yourself though? You look like a garbage can. I can’t bring you in public looking like that.

Hangover:
I’m a freaking hangover, for god’s sake. It’s my job to bring shame and look like crap. Please learn to be more sensitive..


~~~At a restaurant~~~

Waitress:
What would you like today?

You:
Can I get the Caesar salad?

Hangover:
LOL NOT GONNA WORK. Miss, can we get the burrito grande, an order of fries, and a milkshake? I need to be fed properly.

You:
Ugh, fuck my life..

Hangover:
Thanks! That’ll be all.

~~Leaving the restaurant~~

You:
Look at her coming my way! I’m so embarrassed. Of all the times I see her. WHY NOWW??!!?

Person Of Your Dreams:
Hello, hungover stranger. You can stop your search for somebody to love. I’m it! Just come hang out with me now and you’ll be loved forever.

You:
SO DOWN! See ya later, hangover!

Hangover:
LOL you’re not going anywhere……

You:
(STOMACH RUMBLES AND YOU STOP DEAD IN YOUR TRACKS) Oh my god, I hate you. You’re not doing this to me right now, are you? (TO PERSON OF YOUR DREAMS) I’m really sorry but can you wait a sec? I have to run to the bathroom.

Person Of Your Dreams:
No. I have to go right now. Come with me now or forever be unloved!

You:
Then bye. (MOUTHS TO HANGOVER “I hate you. Please die.” AND RUNS BACK INTO THE RESTAURANT.

Hangover:
♥

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